Strengthen Bonds with the Science of Love

In this compelling episode, we dive into a transformative dialogue with Dr. Molly Maloof, who unveils the critical link between sexual health and your overall well-being. Introducing the concept of “sexual fitness,” Molly champions a holistic view of health that encompasses the full spectrum of intimacy and connection. Her journey from the pharmaceutical world to pioneering a new sex therapy program underscores a dedicated pursuit to enrich our understanding and experience of sexual wellness.

Molly’s insights challenge prevailing myths about sexual pleasure and address the profound effects of trauma on intimacy, offering strategies for cultivating deeper connections. She emphasizes the potential for a richer, more fulfilling life through a deeper exploration of our sexual selves, supported by the science of love and a compassionate approach to healing.

This episode is an invitation to shift perceptions and embrace a holistic approach to sexual well-being, promising a path to stronger, more meaningful relationships and an enriched sense of personal health. Join us as we explore the power of sexual fitness to transform lives and deepen the bonds of love.

Freebies From Today’s Episode
Get Dr. Molly’s HRV Optimization Protocol


00:02:45 – Sexual fitness and how Adamo Health is revolutionizing sexual therapy

00:07:30 – What many women classify as great sex

00:08:10 – How would someone know if they have sexual dysfunction?

00:12:38 – Introducing the Adamo Method and how to measure success

00:16:35 – The importance of trauma care in tandem with sexual therapy

00:19:12 – How common is sexual trauma?

00:22:50 – Exploring psychedelic medicine and mental health

Resources Mentioned in this episode

Dr. Joe Dispenza meditations

Theia Health Continuous Glucose Monitor

Order your own labs at YourLabWork

Zero Acre cooking oils use code VIRGIN15 for 15% off

Hanu Health

Spark Factor book



Click Here To Read Transcript

[00:00:00] Molly Maloof: I mentioned the whole story about Stanford and being like, oh [00:00:03] my gosh, human relationships are really important. [00:00:06] And yet, and actually, if you actually do the [00:00:09] research, like there’s actually some statistics out there that, [00:00:12] you know, the more orgasms you have, the longer you live. [00:00:15] So I’m a big believer that we are not [00:00:18] looking at sexuality as a wholesome thing.

[00:00:20] Molly Maloof: We’re looking at it [00:00:21] as like a taboo thing or a thing that has problems [00:00:24] that need fixing. And I love this [00:00:27] concept of I’m build, creating sexual fitness [00:00:30] which is like you might be out of shape right now, but you could actually be in [00:00:33] phenomenal shape if you just had a program to follow to actually [00:00:36] improve this facet of our lives that we often [00:00:39] just ignore or we don’t talk about.

[00:00:40] Molly Maloof: And as somebody [00:00:42] who has dealt with the sexual trauma herself and [00:00:45] overcome it, part of the reason I founded this company was because [00:00:48] I, Was using MDMA with a partner in my early [00:00:51] thirties and accidentally healed a bunch of sexual dysfunction, which [00:00:54] I’m not claiming MDMA does, but in my case, [00:00:57] I had a bunch of unresolved trauma and [00:01:00] MAPS is coming along trying to approve MDMA for [00:01:03] PTSD.

[00:01:03] Molly Maloof: And I looked at the diagnosis of PTSD and I said, this is weird. I [00:01:06] didn’t have this criteria. So what did I have? And so I [00:01:09] dug really into the research and I was like, whoa, [00:01:12] for women who’ve had sexual trauma, 30 percent will [00:01:15] end up with PTSD, but 60 to 80 percent will end up with [00:01:18] sexual dysfunction. And I was like, I want to build a [00:01:21] company around solving this problem.

[00:01:22] Molly Maloof: So initially we [00:01:24] were a pharmaceutical company developing an MDMA alternative, but [00:01:27] quickly I realized I didn’t want to run a pharmaceutical company because it’s crazy. [00:01:30] And so I still wanted to keep with the mission. So we [00:01:33] decided to build a new sex therapy and in the process of [00:01:36] developing the sex therapy, which is, which is basically it’s [00:01:39] not designed in particular for trauma, but it’s very trauma [00:01:42] informed.

[00:01:43] Molly Maloof: So one of the things that we [00:01:45] really try to subscribe to is this concept of you’re not broken, you don’t need [00:01:48] fixing. So this program is really about optimizing your [00:01:51] sexual function and realizing that in the process you can overcome [00:01:54] dysfunction. So a lot of people just don’t even [00:01:57] understand their, their anatomy.

[00:01:58] Molly Maloof: So we’ve made videos on [00:02:00] teaching people actually, what does your pleasure anatomy look like? Mo [00:02:03] the, the, the female clitoris wasn’t mapped properly until [00:02:06] 2005. In anatomical textbooks. So [00:02:09] we’ve been operating with this whole black box of like, [00:02:12] lack of knowledge. Men have had all of [00:02:15] these drugs approved by the way, for erectile dysfunction, [00:02:18] which by the way, most of them go off in three years of taking [00:02:21] it because most erectile dysfunction is psychological, [00:02:24] not biological.

[00:02:25] Molly Maloof: And so I wanted to build [00:02:27] a sex therapy that could be able to help [00:02:30] heterosexual people, homosexual people, gay, [00:02:33] straight, trans, heterosexual people. You name it, it could help [00:02:36] anybody. And the reason why we decided to develop [00:02:39] a new sex therapy was because it hadn’t been reinvented [00:02:42] since Masters and Johnson in the sixties.

[00:02:44] Molly Maloof: And one of the [00:02:45] most primary sex therapies is sensate therapy, which is a [00:02:48] very effective therapy for certain cases. It’s basically [00:02:51] don’t have sex for a month, use mindfulness based [00:02:54] sensual touch, reconnect with your partner by taking sex off the table. [00:02:57] This is great. And sometimes it doesn’t [00:03:00] work. So we wanted to figure out what, [00:03:03] what about those cases where this thing doesn’t work?

[00:03:04] Molly Maloof: And we realized that there was [00:03:06] no sex therapy that actually addressed sex itself. [00:03:09] It was all about everything before sex. And so [00:03:12] we decided we would create a new, a new paradigm shift in teaching [00:03:15] people how to have a different kind of interaction with their [00:03:18] partners than what we typically see in porn, which is [00:03:21] unfortunately, It’s not particularly [00:03:24] pleasurable for most women because women take about 20 minutes to get [00:03:27] fully aroused.

[00:03:28] Molly Maloof: Most women and men, and there are [00:03:30] spontaneously aroused women, but that’s about 20 percent of women, not 80%. [00:03:33] So we designed a, a therapeutic paradigm [00:03:36] shift. We’re teaching people about how to have more [00:03:39] pleasurable, more satisfying, more pleasant relationships. More connected [00:03:42] sex that addresses all facets of [00:03:45] human love, which is the sex drive, the romantic love drive, and [00:03:48] the drive to attach.

[00:03:49] Molly Maloof: So we actually designed this program [00:03:51] around the science of love, which my, my advisors are like [00:03:54] luminaries in, and we’re testing it in our first clinical study in [00:03:57] January. We are actually launching it as a, as [00:04:00] like a live program, because we, I believe it works cause I’ve [00:04:03] already learned it. And honestly I thought that my sex life was great [00:04:06] and that it, I I was like nine out of 10 in, [00:04:09] in like skill sets.

[00:04:10] Molly Maloof: I realized that I was probably more like [00:04:12] six out of 10 until I did this program. I had a lot of room for [00:04:15] improvement. And this is the thing about sexual fitness is like, we are [00:04:18] not looking at physical fitness the same way as we’re like, [00:04:21] we’re not looking at sexual fitness as a thing we’re looking at is like, I go to the [00:04:24] doctor, I have a problem.

[00:04:25] Molly Maloof: But if I’m, if I [00:04:27] have, if I, you know, if, as long as I’m having a normal sex life, [00:04:30] then like normal sex life, then nothing’s wrong. But if [00:04:33] you actually pull women in the world and ask them, [00:04:36] what. It makes great sex. They say it [00:04:39] doesn’t hurt. And this is what Oh my gosh. [00:04:42] When I realized that this was like the [00:04:45] baseline of what women are dealing with, I realized, well, we actually have a much [00:04:48] bigger product on our hands than just helping people with [00:04:51] dysfunction, which is about 30 percent of women.

[00:04:53] Molly Maloof: Seven, there’s a [00:04:54] whole 70 percent of women that don’t realize that they could be having better [00:04:57] sex, more connected sex and sex that [00:05:00] creates a more stronger, a stronger bond between partners. [00:05:03] And so You know, this is what the Adamo method is about. I can go into [00:05:06] more detail if you have questions.

[00:05:07] Molly Maloof: Questions. I have like a [00:05:09] page full of

[00:05:09] JJ: questions because it’s so interesting. [00:05:12] Like, how would someone know when you said a scale of, [00:05:15] I thought it was a scale of nine to 10, I was a scale of six to 10. I’m like, how [00:05:18] would someone know where they are in the scale? How would someone even [00:05:21] know if they had sexual dysfunction?

[00:05:23] Molly Maloof: Yeah. [00:05:24] So I spent months with researchers from Imperial [00:05:27] College dissecting all of the different clinical [00:05:30] measures for sexual dysfunction, sexual [00:05:33] satisfaction sexual communication, [00:05:36] emotional closeness, which is a surrogate way of describing love in [00:05:39] scientific terms. There’s also known as there’s this, this [00:05:42] scale called the inclusion of other.

[00:05:43] Molly Maloof: So like, and then there’s the [00:05:45] triangular theory of love scale. And then there’s the [00:05:48] attachment scales. So I was like, Whoa, like we have this like really [00:05:51] broad. This is why we’re, we’re [00:05:54] basically running their program because we are going to take all of these [00:05:57] scales, run everyone through them and show [00:06:00] and then we’re going to create a derivative scale for the, for the Adamo program [00:06:03] based on the biggest measures that change.

[00:06:05] Molly Maloof: [00:06:06] And basically for sexual dysfunction, it’s not that complicated. [00:06:09] There’s problems with arousal, which is you’re not getting [00:06:12] wet, which is like physic, like lack of physical desire. Then there’s problems with [00:06:15] desire, which is you’re not, Thinking like we have sex, but [00:06:18] you might have arousal, which is lack of sort of mental desire.[00:06:21]

[00:06:21] Molly Maloof: And then they lump those two, a desire and arousal into the [00:06:24] same, into the same category. They used to be separate categories. They have the same [00:06:27] category now. And then there’s sexual [00:06:30] pain, which is pain. Pain during intercourse, which can [00:06:33] be superficial. It can be vulvodynia. It can be [00:06:36] dyspareunia, it can be vaginismus, which vulvodynia is like you touch [00:06:39] the outer vagina and there’s pain.

[00:06:41] Molly Maloof: You get near [00:06:42] it, it’s painful. Dyspareunia is when there’s pain with [00:06:45] penetration and then vaginismus is when the vagina tightens up so [00:06:48] much that they, you can’t even have penetration or if you do, it’s [00:06:51] just spasming. And then there’s there’s anorgasmia, which [00:06:54] is situational or primary. So there’s either like [00:06:57] you’ve never been able, never been able to have an orgasm.

[00:06:59] Molly Maloof: [00:07:00] Or you can have an orgasm, but only on your own, not with your partner. [00:07:03] And then for men it’s pretty similar, but there’s like [00:07:06] premature ejaculation. There’s there’s erectile [00:07:09] dysfunction. There’s you know, there’s, there’s basically men [00:07:12] also can experience pain with with penetration. And I see it actually quite a [00:07:15] lot in men in my practice where they complain to [00:07:18] me, That they have pain after intercourse in their penis, [00:07:21] and there’s like even tears.

[00:07:22] Molly Maloof: And this is the difference between friction [00:07:24] sex versus suction sex. So friction [00:07:27] sex is what you see in pornography, which is basically there’s a lot of [00:07:30] forceful entering and exiting of a penis in a vagina or an [00:07:33] anus. Not the most pleasurable for a lot of women to have [00:07:36] friction, turns out. Especially if you’re not fully aroused.[00:07:39]

[00:07:39] Molly Maloof: It can be great if you’re fully aroused, but a lot of women just aren’t, [00:07:42] especially if you’re getting older, which is another reason why we’ve [00:07:45] designed this method for all ages. [00:07:48] Suction sex is literally changing the dynamic [00:07:51] between the receiver and the giver so that there’s an [00:07:54] active receiver learning how to bring in a partner with their [00:07:57] bodies.

[00:07:57] Molly Maloof: You’re learning literally how to suck in a partner with and [00:08:00] having agency and control over what is happening during penetration. [00:08:03] And then there’s The adaptive giver, which is they’re learning [00:08:06] to attune to their partner and read their body and say, does, is [00:08:09] my partner actually enjoying what I’m doing here or not?

[00:08:11] Molly Maloof: [00:08:12] And do I need to change things up so that I can create more pleasure? [00:08:15] And then the, this concept of suction was pioneered by [00:08:18] Aaron Michael, who’s a phenomenal sex [00:08:21] therapist. And say to desolate, who’s his partner, who I [00:08:24] basically, I believe this is the next passage of [00:08:27] Johnson. Cause they are the most innovative people I found in sexual health.

[00:08:29] Molly Maloof: [00:08:30] And basically what they’ve discovered was that you can teach people [00:08:33] how to have. Connected sex that creates [00:08:36] suction during the sexual experience so that there’s full [00:08:39] contact between the two bodies. So that instead of an [00:08:42] in and out motion, it’s the, the hips are moving in [00:08:45] unison. So there’s more contact inside the body because you’re getting more [00:08:48] pleasure.

[00:08:48] Molly Maloof: And if you have any vaginal atrophy as [00:08:51] you’re getting older, It’s a lot more it’s a lot [00:08:54] more pleasurable for a woman who’s going through menopause or [00:08:57] through perimenopause who might have struggled with friction based [00:09:00] sex. And so, you know, we’re really excited to be [00:09:03] studying this because this is basically a different way of [00:09:06] teaching people a different way of experiencing sexual contact.[00:09:09]

[00:09:09] Molly Maloof: And the funny thing is, is that I [00:09:12] learned the method in a workshop without any [00:09:15] sex at all. It was just hip movements and just body attunement [00:09:18] and just embodied consent. And I brought my gay [00:09:21] guy friend with me to be my partner during the workshop. And [00:09:24] the funny thing is we didn’t, we obviously there was no sexual contact at all, but there [00:09:27] was just learning different exercises and movements.[00:09:30]

[00:09:30] Molly Maloof: And we left this program like best [00:09:33] friends and like really attached to each other. And I was like, [00:09:36] This is really weird. Like, we’re like really close. We’re like calling each [00:09:39] other every weekend and like catching up regularly and texting each other. [00:09:42] So we designed this method for creating stronger [00:09:45] bonds.

[00:09:45] Molly Maloof: So one of the disclaimers of our program, [00:09:48] you, you, you, we don’t recommend this for people who are [00:09:51] about to get divorced. We don’t recommend this to people who are, who have any [00:09:54] violence in their relationship. We don’t recommend this for people [00:09:57] who, Early in the relationship, [00:10:00] because you may end up bonded to this person in a deeper [00:10:03] way after this program.

[00:10:05] Molly Maloof: And we don’t want people [00:10:06] to be bonded who don’t want to be bonded, especially people who might be [00:10:09] violent with one another. Or if they’re just like getting to know [00:10:12] each other, maybe they, maybe this is not the ideal program. [00:10:15] We really want to ensure that people would recognize that like, One of the [00:10:18] side effects of this program is feeling a lot more love for your partner [00:10:21] and a lot more attachment.

[00:10:22] Molly Maloof: It’s not just the sexual piece. It’s [00:10:24] like we’ve literally designed this method for addressing, because [00:10:27] the word Adamo means to fall in love in Latin. So I [00:10:30] was literally trying to build a program for [00:10:33] building, basically, I wanted to take a scientific approach to creating [00:10:36] love between partners. Wow.

[00:10:38] JJ: And how [00:10:39] would you be able to measure like First of all, the [00:10:42] program, like, is it online?

[00:10:44] JJ: Is it [00:10:45] in person? How’s it delivered? And then [00:10:48] is there, after the fact, is it a subjective scale? [00:10:51] Like, do you check oxytocin levels? Like, what do [00:10:54] you, how do you test hormone levels? Like, does [00:10:57] testosterone go up? Like, what happens?

[00:10:58] Molly Maloof: So this is our [00:11:00] first program we’re launching and we’re, we’re talking [00:11:03] to epigenetic companies to, and, and [00:11:06] also like wearable technology companies to, during our second [00:11:09] cohort to actually add more measure, like, like, [00:11:12] like empirical measures.

[00:11:13] Molly Maloof: But right now what [00:11:15] we’re currently using is like standardized [00:11:18] clinical subjective measures. And so for example, [00:11:21] inclusion of other is like a scale of two circles. [00:11:24] And it’s like, if two people completely separated is over here [00:11:27] and two people like codependent is completely overlapped, [00:11:30] we’re trying to see like, how much does a person’s [00:11:33] inclusion of other change?

[00:11:35] Molly Maloof: So that’s like one of the [00:11:36] better measures of love in modern, [00:11:39] modern research science. And then there’s the triangular theory of love, [00:11:42] which is about passion, commitment, [00:11:45] And passion, commitment, and emotional [00:11:48] closeness, right? So it’s basically intimacy. So [00:11:51] there’s emotional intimacy, right? Which is what [00:11:54] the emotional closeness scale is measuring.

[00:11:55] Molly Maloof: And then there’s [00:11:57] commitment, which is measuring like, how committed are you to a person? Passion is [00:12:00] like, how much do you desire this person? And then there’s different [00:12:03] attachment scales, which we’re using that are measuring like [00:12:06] avoidance, secure, and anxious attachment patterns. [00:12:09] And then And then sexual dysfunction is, is, is measuring [00:12:12] for men and women the things I discussed [00:12:15] earlier.

[00:12:15] Molly Maloof: And then sexual satisfaction is a scale for [00:12:18] measuring like all the different aspects of being [00:12:21] satisfied with your sexual experience. So we’re starting with these, [00:12:24] these scales because they’re standardized and we want to publish white [00:12:27] papers on this. And reputable medical journals. [00:12:30] But eventually what we really want to do is like take a derivative of [00:12:33] all these scales and create like the abdominal scale that [00:12:36] can be like the most, the measures that we know are [00:12:39] consistently changing in these different individuals.[00:12:42]

[00:12:42] JJ: Wow. And would this work [00:12:45] with someone who had trauma or do they need to do something [00:12:48] beyond this first?

[00:12:50] Molly Maloof: One of the [00:12:51] things that we do in our screening is if somebody has [00:12:54] had recent sexual trauma, we would [00:12:57] recommend that you get Pretty much mainstream trauma [00:13:00] care. So like EMDR, somatic [00:13:03] experiencing, if you need psychotherapy obviously like the [00:13:06] acute approach to trauma is like, we don’t want you [00:13:09] to come into this program with a highly dysregulated nervous system, [00:13:12] because this is a very, This program [00:13:15] is a somatic therapy.

[00:13:16] Molly Maloof: So I do think it would help [00:13:18] regulate a person’s nervous system. But I think if someone’s dealt with an acute [00:13:21] trauma, they need, there’s a certain period of [00:13:24] time where you need to like work with a team of [00:13:27] professionals, which I never got because I didn’t even know [00:13:30] that was available in my early twenties.

[00:13:31] Molly Maloof: But It’s [00:13:33] important to like do a certain amount of acute care. [00:13:36] Now, if somebody’s dealt with somebody’s, you know, somebody has [00:13:39] active PTSD the reason why we’ve designed this [00:13:42] method as an integration program is we want it to work [00:13:45] alongside mainstream trauma programs such as like, [00:13:48] you know, these existing things.

[00:13:49] Molly Maloof: So if someone’s had PTSD for a [00:13:51] long time, it’s not going to bar them from the program, but [00:13:54] we definitely want you to still have you know, [00:13:57] we, we, we don’t want you to use this as a replacement for [00:14:00] existing standard of care because it is a new program and it’s [00:14:03] just, it’s just being launched. We are actually in talks [00:14:06] with some organizations in the military [00:14:09] to develop programs for military sexual trauma.

[00:14:11] Molly Maloof: So [00:14:12] we are likely going to be launching a very [00:14:15] targeted program for actual, like pretty [00:14:18] serious sexual trauma in the near future. It’s something [00:14:21] that I’ve been passionate about for a long time. And the military is like [00:14:24] a big source. I mean, it’s, it’s clearly not a [00:14:27] problem in the space and they actually have resources to solve these [00:14:30] problems.

[00:14:30] Molly Maloof: But this first method, this first program was [00:14:33] designed to be as direct to consumer as possible, or. [00:14:36] Ideally marketed through existing [00:14:39] therapists. So we’re training psychotherapists, sex [00:14:42] therapists marriage and family therapy counselors, [00:14:45] because we want this to be just in physicians. And we want this to be [00:14:48] ideally distributed or people right now, the [00:14:51] first program that’s launching is going to be led by [00:14:54] Aaron and Seda, who are the founders.

[00:14:55] Molly Maloof: Eventually, this program will [00:14:57] be an evergreen program that you can, you can basically have [00:15:00] a therapist available to you, which will be working with our [00:15:03] company, and you can just text them questions you have and have, [00:15:06] you know, someone to work, someone to work with, but we [00:15:09] wanted it to be a, Safe enough [00:15:12] program that somebody could go through on their own and not feel [00:15:15] not be basically, we wouldn’t, we wouldn’t put anybody in danger [00:15:18] with this program.

[00:15:18] Molly Maloof: As we build it out more [00:15:21] specifically more program specific around trauma, [00:15:24] we’ll want these programs delivered by, you know, [00:15:27] like therapists likely, but [00:15:30] I’m a big believer that the healer is really inside you. [00:15:33] And they’re the same [00:15:36] Pathways that produce pain in the body also can produce [00:15:39] pleasure.

[00:15:39] Molly Maloof: So I do believe that like a [00:15:42] lot of this a lot of this, this work is best [00:15:45] done alongside therapists, which is why we want to work with therapists [00:15:48] to distribute it. But because our method is, I think, so [00:15:51] safe, eventually if people want to take it as an evergreen program [00:15:54] and go in a self guided way, they, [00:15:57] they’ll be able to do that too.

[00:15:58] JJ: Wow. And [00:16:00] first of all, how common is sexual trauma? Cause it’s [00:16:03] really common, isn’t it? Okay.

[00:16:04] Molly Maloof: So the CDC [00:16:06] says that it’s one in five women are raped. One [00:16:09] in four are abused as children and one in three are [00:16:12] assaulted. And I actually think the numbers are [00:16:15] probably double because since I started this company, One [00:16:18] of the biggest revelations, I honestly starting this company, like pretty [00:16:21] much anything that needed to be healed [00:16:24] leftover around this drama, [00:16:27] like was literally the thing that really got me fully healed was [00:16:30] dropping all shame.

[00:16:31] Molly Maloof: And when I started [00:16:33] talking to women about this company and I started talking to [00:16:36] investors and women would just start sharing their stories. [00:16:39] And [00:16:42] I would [00:16:45] just be like, there’s not a single person, there’s [00:16:48] not a single woman I know in this world who’s not been somehow affected by [00:16:51] some form of trauma or assault or, [00:16:54] or experience that was really negative sexually.

[00:16:56] Molly Maloof: [00:16:57] I really think it’s the baseline of our society that [00:17:00] versus like the, like I, it’s, the research [00:17:03] suggests that we are actually have a better off than the [00:17:06] rest of the world, that the, Like a lot of countries that [00:17:09] are highly patriarchal have much [00:17:12] higher rates of sexual trauma. [00:17:15] Epidemiologically speaking, this is just what people are gathering through survey [00:17:18] data.

[00:17:18] Molly Maloof: I, I think because Americans are so much [00:17:21] more aware of these problems because of the movement of [00:17:24] Me Too and because of just the general way society is going, [00:17:27] I think there’s a lot more people reporting it [00:17:30] than in the past. It’s a lot more common in men that I [00:17:33] realized as well. Like I’ve dealt with a number of [00:17:36] men in my practice that have confessed to me their experiences with trauma, [00:17:39] especially in children.

[00:17:40] Molly Maloof: So I think men don’t [00:17:42] report it as much.

[00:17:43] JJ: I

[00:17:44] Molly Maloof: spoke to a lot of [00:17:45] gay men and they have a very different perspective [00:17:48] on trauma. They really don’t see it. They don’t see like [00:17:51] they, they, they, they, There’s a choice in that community I’ve found [00:17:54] to not see sexual trauma as trauma. Like, and [00:17:57] there’s something about the masculine identity that doesn’t want to [00:18:00] identify with trauma, which is fine.

[00:18:01] Molly Maloof: And I’m not going to say there’s a right or [00:18:03] wrong, but I think that, you know, [00:18:06] and then I think there’s also a very big difference between [00:18:09] assault and trauma. And like, a lot of [00:18:12] people don’t know the difference between these things, right? And so there’s [00:18:15] just this is a, this is a very Taboo area to be talking [00:18:18] about.

[00:18:18] Molly Maloof: But the reason why I’m out there talking about it is [00:18:21] because the more that we just bring it to the surface. The [00:18:24] less shame we will carry and the more we can [00:18:27] all drop shame. That was like one of the best ways to heal [00:18:30] is to like, when you, when you no longer feel any, [00:18:33] any like sense of shame around it, there’s a [00:18:36] free feeling you get.

[00:18:36] Molly Maloof: You’re like, Oh, so now I can [00:18:39] actually explore all this because I don’t have anything to feel bad about anymore [00:18:42] because it shouldn’t have ever happened in the first place. The problem I [00:18:45] see is that there’s a lot of people holding it in and not talking about it and not [00:18:48] exploring paths of healing and they’re [00:18:51] suffering unnecessarily And their nervous systems are just [00:18:54] wired to be tense all the time.

[00:18:55] Molly Maloof: And I mean [00:18:57] that that’s sort of like hardening of our, of our [00:19:00] tissues is from contraction and that [00:19:03] contraction comes from just like wanting to protect ourselves over and over [00:19:06] and again and feeling unsafe. And I’m just such a [00:19:09] believer in Anything you can do to create a sense [00:19:12] of safety around you, whether it be your community, whether it be through [00:19:15] working with a trauma therapist, whether it be exploring your [00:19:18] sexuality in the clinical program working with, you know, [00:19:21] a sex coach, working with sex therapists, like, you [00:19:24] know, anything you can do to just like [00:19:27] create some space around this so that you can explore and not [00:19:30] feel shame and feel a sense of pleasure and excitement.

[00:19:32] Molly Maloof: It’s [00:19:33] one of the most phenomenal things you can do for your health and it’s changed my [00:19:36] life dramatically.

[00:19:38] JJ: I think that most [00:19:39] people, and maybe I’m just speaking for myself [00:19:42] on the safety thing, have no idea even what, like [00:19:45] until recently I had no idea that I didn’t [00:19:48] feel safe until I realized what I really [00:19:51] felt safe for the first time in my entire [00:19:54] life.

[00:19:54] JJ: At like, you know, it took till 55 to [00:19:57] feel safe.

[00:19:58] Molly Maloof: Yeah.

[00:19:58] JJ: Imagine, you [00:20:00] know, where the entire time you’re like [00:20:03] in alert, high alert situation. [00:20:06] So do you think, like, I’m hearing all of this [00:20:09] and I’m really excited [00:20:12] about what’s happening in mental health. Now I grew up, I’m [00:20:15] adopted, and they say about adopted kids, they either are like [00:20:18] super overachievers or they’re like in a ditch somewhere.

[00:20:20] JJ: [00:20:21] And I have a brother who’s profoundly [00:20:24] schizophrenic. An adopted brother, you know, [00:20:27] raised in the, I think typical household back then with a [00:20:30] very alcoholic father and a checked out mom and [00:20:33] all of that. And [00:20:36] I look at now what we’re starting to do with [00:20:39] trauma and MDMA and ketamine and these [00:20:42] types of things.

[00:20:42] JJ: And I think it is, and, and, you know, [00:20:45] psilocybin, I think it’s the most exciting stuff ever. [00:20:48] There’s going to be all sorts of You [00:20:51] know, craziness around it, [00:20:54] but this sounds like this program and then working [00:20:57] with a trauma therapist and be able to do like what you talked about [00:21:00] doing, you know?

[00:21:01] Molly Maloof: Yeah. I mean, the [00:21:03] biggest drivers of sexual dysfunction, psychosomatic sexual [00:21:06] dysfunction, are relationship problems, mood disorders, and [00:21:09] trauma.

[00:21:09] Molly Maloof: And MDMA is being studied [00:21:12] for trauma. Psilocybin is being studied [00:21:15] for depression. Treatment resistant depression, and it’s far [00:21:18] better for sexual health than [00:21:21] SSRIs. Tommaso Barba is a scientist working with me. He’s published a paper [00:21:24] on the different effects of psilocybin versus [00:21:27] SSRIs on depression and sexual function.

[00:21:29] Molly Maloof: So there’s real research [00:21:30] coming out around the fact that this may be a safer path to [00:21:33] healing. Potentially, we don’t know yet. We’re getting there. And then [00:21:36] and then relationship issues, like believe it or not, there’s [00:21:39] actually a bunch of doctors in California that are using ketamine for [00:21:42] couple therapy.

[00:21:42] Molly Maloof: And I think that MDMA will [00:21:45] eventually be approved potentially. I mean, the thing is, [00:21:48] there’s no, there’s no diagnostic code for couples not getting [00:21:51] along. So it’s going to be tricky to see how we get that [00:21:54] covered, but off label use potentially might be available. [00:21:57] There’s a lot of underground shamans and doctors [00:22:00] using MDMA for couples.

[00:22:01] Molly Maloof: It was actually given to [00:22:03] 500, 000 people legally before it was banned [00:22:06] and by the DEA. And it was largely being used in [00:22:09] couples contexts. So I think that [00:22:12] We’re like, I, I’m a huge believer in psychedelic medicine. [00:22:15] It’s changed my life dramatically and I’m just as [00:22:18] much of a critic of the problems of the [00:22:21] wild west that it is right now.

[00:22:22] Molly Maloof: Mm-Hmm. that, and I’ve seen so [00:22:24] many people have bad experiences with working with what [00:22:27] they think is like a world class sha, a shaman . Like I [00:22:30] actually is like a complete psychopath and who’s like [00:22:33] totally inexperienced, has no idea what they’re doing. So I [00:22:36] tell people the most important thing, if you’re gonna even consider [00:22:39] exploring psychedelics.

[00:22:40] Molly Maloof: Choose your shaman like you [00:22:42] would your neurosurgeon because you’re doing psychic brain [00:22:45] surgery. And so you really do not want to haphazardly [00:22:48] take these medicines. There are some phenomenal [00:22:51] resources on websites like Psychedelic Support, Influence. You can [00:22:54] get, if you’re a physician out there and you want to get educated, [00:22:57] Take these courses.

[00:22:57] Molly Maloof: Like there’s CME credit you can get. I got CME [00:23:00] credit at the MAPS conference this year for psychedelic [00:23:03] education. So the world is changing, but [00:23:06] we all as physicians and therapists and health [00:23:09] coaches and healers have a responsibility to educate people [00:23:12] that these are double edged swords. They can heal [00:23:15] people and they can hurt people.

[00:23:16] Molly Maloof: And if used properly, [00:23:18] they are phenomenal medicines. If used improperly, [00:23:21] They can lead to lasting damage. So I always add a [00:23:24] major disclaimer because I’ve never had a bad trip, but I’ve [00:23:27] been incredibly careful with these medicines. And I’m at, I’m at a [00:23:30] place in my life where the next frontier is [00:23:33] like, you get, you can get to these places on your own [00:23:36] without any medicine at all.

[00:23:37] JJ: That’s the Dr. Joe Dispenza thing. It’s like, [00:23:39] okay.

[00:23:39] Molly Maloof: Yeah. So meditation is [00:23:42] Hey, best medicine. And there’s, if you [00:23:45] like, you can get the same outcomes from [00:23:48] intensive meditation, you know, practice and you can [00:23:51] create, but meditation is just, is it has some risks too. [00:23:54] So people go to meditation retreats and sometimes sometimes [00:23:57] have psychotic breaks.

[00:23:58] Molly Maloof: So I’m always about [00:24:00] start slow, You know, start low, go slow, titrate [00:24:03] up. Be really careful with anything you’re doing to change your mind and your [00:24:06] consciousness. And always stay grounded with your [00:24:09] family and your community. Always staying grounded with nature. Always staying [00:24:12] grounded with your daily practices, your health habits.

[00:24:14] Molly Maloof: [00:24:15] And be very, very careful with adding [00:24:18] consciousness altering practices to your [00:24:21] life. And just slowly, slowly expand [00:24:24] from a place of deep safety and reverence. [00:24:27]

[00:24:27] JJ: I love it. Okay. So we have gone through, [00:24:30] we’ve gone all over the place where I want to make [00:24:33] sure of, I’m going to get all of the different things you [00:24:36] talked about into the show notes.

[00:24:37] JJ: I’m going to put the show notes [00:24:39] at jjvirgin. com forward slash spark [00:24:42] factor. I know you have an HRV optimization guide. We’ll [00:24:45] put the book in. You mentioned some different links that [00:24:48] we’ll pull up and put here too. Is this [00:24:51] course available? Like, can people, It yet, or [00:24:54] they’re still in the beta testing?

[00:24:55] Molly Maloof: You can sign up at [00:24:57] We start the third week of January, [00:25:00] so I don’t know when this is launching, but we’re still [00:25:03] recruiting people to the program. And is that living or

[00:25:05] JJ: Loving [00:25:06] Adamo? Living.

[00:25:06] Molly Maloof: Living Adamo.

[00:25:07] JJ: Okay. [00:25:09] A-D-A-M-O. Yes. I know as you’re talking, I’m like, [00:25:12] I am so running down and telling my husband about this.

[00:25:14] JJ: I’d love to [00:25:15] have you. Well, here’s the thing. Like, [00:25:18] you know, I, I believe in, I, [00:25:21] the two things I love in life are [00:25:24] marketing and health. Like those are my two favorite things. [00:25:27] And my dog’s my husband and my kids. And [00:25:30] one of the things we always teach in business [00:25:33] is strengthen your strengths. If you’ve got a [00:25:36] weakness, hire the weakness, you know, [00:25:39] like I don’t really, I’m not good at cleaning.

[00:25:41] JJ: I [00:25:42] hire for that. Right. And I don’t want to get good at it. That’s going to always be [00:25:45] a weakness. It will remain there. But, you know, you look at something and [00:25:48] go, you know, I finally met the love of my [00:25:51] life at 52 and [00:25:54] he’s just, he is my. He is my [00:25:57] perfect human. He is like absolutely the yin [00:26:00] to my yang. Like he’s weird.

[00:26:01] JJ: He is, it is so [00:26:03] effortless and easy. It’s [00:26:06] crazy. And which is great. Cause I would always be the runner. You know, [00:26:09] if a relationship went sideways, I was the first to run out. Like I’m [00:26:12] out, I’m out of here. That was me. And so [00:26:15] yeah, like that, what is it, the avoidant personality, [00:26:18] like I’m, I’m out, man, game out.

[00:26:20] JJ: So [00:26:21] really when you, when you have that kind of [00:26:24] relationship, you look at you, I’m always looking at what’s [00:26:27] the, what’s the next level. What’s, how do we go deeper? [00:26:30] How do we get closer? So this is, [00:26:33] this is great. Yeah. Yes. Cool. [00:26:36] Okay. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for [00:26:39] all of your time. I [00:26:42] appreciate you.

[00:26:42] JJ: I love your work. I think we just identified like [00:26:45] three more books that have to come out. Yep. But [00:26:48] this really like, this is game changing [00:26:51] life work that can change the planet. Wow.

[00:26:53] Molly Maloof: [00:26:54] Wow. Wow.

[00:26:55] JJ: [00:26:57] Yes.
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