Revive Your Desire and Erase Shame

Do you struggle with intimacy problems like disinterest, pain, or lack of pleasure?
You’re not alone. In fact, 43% of women have a sexual health concern.

And in this episode, I’m bringing you hope.

Join me and Dr. Lyndsey Harper, an OB-GYN and sexual medicine specialist, for an eye-opening discussion about sexual wellness over 40—the misconceptions, common experiences, and what doctors could do better. Then, we’ll share concrete ways you can begin to erase shame, reawaken your desire, and feel fully empowered in your body and pleasure.

If you’re a woman over 40, I’m not kidding when I say this episode could change your life.


00:04:47 – Why don’t we talk more about sexual wellness?
00:06:30 – What is sexual health?
00:07:41 – What does being sexually healthy look like?
00:10:23 – Can you be sexually healthy without having sex?
00:12:11 – The number one complaint women have
00:14:32 – Why make an app to address these issues?
00:19:02 – How can a woman experiencing a lack of desire get help?
00:23:23 – If a woman has desire but no arousal, what can be done?
00:24:56 – Can you help women who’ve experienced sexual trauma?
00:27:25 – Has this program helped women in menopause?
00:32:13 – What women deserve

Freebies From Today’s Episode
Use code JJV for a FREE month of Silver Membership to the Rosy app

Resources Mentioned in this episode

Subscribe to my podcast

Read my book, The Virgin Diet:

Learn more about Dr. Lyndsey Harper – Use code JJV for a free month of Silver Membership to the Rosy app

Get Dr. Anna Cabeca’s Julva cream

Get Jana Danielson’s Cooch Ball

Click Here To Read Transcript

ATHE_Transcript_Ep 609_Dr. Lyndsey Harper
JJ Virgin: [00:00:00] I’m JJ Virgin, PhD dropout, sorry mom, turned four time New York Times best selling author. Yes, I’m a certified nutrition specialist, fitness hall of famer, and I speak at health conferences and trainings around the globe, but I’m driven by my insatiable curiosity and love of science to keep asking questions, digging for answers, and sharing the information I uncover with as many people as I can, and that’s why I created the Well Beyond 40 podcast to synthesize and simplify the science of health into actionable strategies to help you thrive.
In each episode, we’ll talk about what’s working in the world of wellness from personalized nutrition and healing your metabolism to healthy aging and prescriptive fitness. Join me on the journey to better health so you can love how you look and feel right now and have the energy to play full out at 100.
So I want to start this podcast with [00:01:00] an apology, an apology that I’ve never brought this subject up sooner because it’s something that I talk about with friends over a glass of wine. But it’s something that’s not really talked about and I was listening to a podcast a couple months ago and I heard this doctor speaking, Dr. Lyndsey Harper, and I leaned in and I went, Oh my gosh, this is so needed out here. Where has she been? So today we are going to be talking about really what I would call sexual wellness. What the heck is it? What is sexual health? What are the biggest challenges we face? And then more importantly, So, what’s normal and what’s not normal and what do we do about it?
And it turns out that the solutions are actually fairly simple and fairly inexpensive, if not free. So, I’m going to walk through that with Dr. Lyndsey Harper. Before I bring her on, let me just brag on her a bit because she is just amazing. If [00:02:00] fangirl over someone, holy smokes. This woman has been named Forbes, top 53 Women Disrupting Healthcare People’s Newspaper, 20 under 40, a top innovator in North Texas for 2020.
ADBJ, top woman in tech. And she really is on a mission. She’s found her North Star. And that North Star is to really bring the awareness out there to sexual health and then to help women of all backgrounds, all cultures, all religions, all health challenges. Be able to really experience their best sexual health.
She’s a board certified OBGYN, what she discovered as a doctor was that she kept getting these complaints, these issues, these challenges from patients and they felt alone and she then went off and got More training and became a fellow of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health.
She’s an associate professor of OBGYN for Texas A& M. She’s a fellow of the American Congress of Obstetricians and [00:03:00] Gynecologists. So she is. Got the experience, she’s got the expertise, she’s got the training, and she is now laser focusing that all on something, and it is the app Rosy. She’s the founder and CEO of Rosy, which is a women’s health technology company that connects women who have sexual health concerns with health community and research backed solutions.
And She’s giving it all to us for free. Depending on how you do the app, you can get free or pay for different levels. And she is going to give us a free membership of the silver level of the app. And so you’ll be able to get that by going to and then using the code JJV.
And I will put this in the show notes in case you don’t remember that. So you can grab that. I’m also going to put in the show notes because we talked about some different things. I’m going to put in show notes, my girlfriend, Dr. Anna Kabecka’s jojoba cream, as well as my friend Jana Danielson’s cooch ball to help your pelvic floor.
So. [00:04:00] You’ve got lots of resources to help you be your best, both like when I think of overall wellness, sex is a huge part of that. So let’s get that out of the closet. Let’s start talking about it. And we’re going to start right now with Dr. Lyndsey Harper. Hang out. I’ll be right back with her.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper, welcome to the show.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Thank you so much for having me. I’m thrilled to be here with you.
JJ Virgin: So I heard you speaking on another podcast and. First of all, I saw the topic, you know, I was searching and I went, I have to listen to this. And then I started to listen and I went, holy smokes, why are we not talking about this?
And today we’re going to be talking about sexual health and sexual wellness. And I thought, I’ve never actually really talked about this on my podcast and it’s a hard subject to even find information about. Why the heck is that?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Gosh, I know. I feel like we could do a whole episode on just this topic. Why don’t we ever talk [00:05:00] about this stuff?
So it’s such a passion of mine. And I think that, you know, if we look back retrospectively at who built the world and why things are the way they are, it’s just a function of perspective. And when we think about the things that have been addressed in women’s sexual health, it’s really addressed from the aspect of a male partner’s pleasure and for the function of reproduction.
And so the ideas of Do women want to have sex? Do women enjoy having sex? Do women have orgasms when they have sex? These things have all been really just ignored, and now I think both within health care and also just within society generally. Women have come to a place of power, a place where we have a platform and a place where we can really start to raise these issues in the medical community and in society at large.
And now these issues are starting to get more attention, but for so long, even in my residency training as an OBGYN, I had zero training in what we call sexual function or sexual dysfunction. Even now, when people think I focus [00:06:00] on women’s sexual health, they think STIs. And that’s not what it’s all about.
I mean, really STI prevention is important, but when we talk about men’s sexual health, we know we’re talking about erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, like orgasmic dysfunction. So these things we equate with men’s sexual health, but we have yet to make that connection for women. And even as OBGYNs, for me and my journey, it was up to my patients to educate me about their needs.
For me to realize that I had a major deficit in my knowledge and in my ability to help them.
JJ Virgin: And I think honestly, just even hearing this, the first starting point would be what’s sexual health? Like what is sexual health? What does it mean to be sexually healthy? What sexual wellness? Like, what is
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: it? You know, it hasn’t been, I would say broadly defined, but the WHO, the World Health Organization has a definition.
I have a definition that is similar to theirs, which is, you know, the ability for an individual to live without sexual dysfunction, so in the absence of disease, and in the fullest [00:07:00] enjoyment of sort of sexual expression. And that includes confidence, that includes education, that includes empowerment. And so, it’s not only the absence of disease, but it’s also the presence of wellness to your intro.
And you know, what does it take to get there? Unfortunately, we’re missing some of those blocks in our natural path. That’s what I’m so passionate about doing is getting those instituted in a way that’s repeatable for everybody so we can all enjoy sexual health and wellness.
JJ Virgin: I’d take it even a step further in the next question, because I remember hearing, and I think it was my buddy, Dr.
Daniel Lehman was talking about men and sex and that men are healthiest when they have sex three times a week. And I’m like, what about women? And so you talk about sexual dysfunction. I’m like, what is sexual dysfunction and what would being sexually healthy look like?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Yeah. So a lot of people, this is probably the number one question that I get asked and that sex medicine physicians or sex therapists get asked is how often should I be having sex?
Everyone wants a number they want to [00:08:00] know, want to quantify, and that’s a very human reaction, normal, normal, normal. But really, the way that we define it is the absence of sexual dysfunction would mean, is there a break in the chain somewhere? And we’ll speak specifically about women. Do women have the desire that they want to have, right?
There’s many women who identify with the idea of… I used to have what I consider to be a healthy sexual desire, and now I could not care less, but I miss that piece of myself. What happened? What can I do about it? Another piece of the chain is arousal, which is, you know, a physical reaction in the body whenever you encounter a sexual stimuli.
So it’s the same as an erection in a man. The vulva, the external female genitalia, gets engorged with blood, and I mean, it really does have an erection. It’s just smaller, so we don’t identify it that way. But the tissue gets swollen, there might be a throbbing sensation, that’s arousal. For some women, they might feel desirous, the touch or the stimuli might be there, but they might not react in a way that they used [00:09:00] to.
Their bodies aren’t really cooperating with what they think should be happening. There’s also dysfunction of orgasm. When many women, as we age, or also as a side effect of medications. Might experience delayed orgasm, so it like takes a lot longer than it used to, or diminished orgasm, meaning it’s not as intense as it used to be, or lack of orgasm, and there’s many reasons that that can happen.
And then another common one is lubrication. So we know as a function of menopause, whenever estrogen starts to decline, the vagina doesn’t create as much or the same type of vaginal lubrication as it once did. The skin of the vagina can become thinner, and so this creates a sexual dysfunction as well. So that’s what we’re talking about when we say sexual dysfunction.
And then when we talk about how often someone should be having sex, there is no number. It really is what feels fulfilled to you as an individual. And then there’s a whole entire separate conversation if you’re in a partnership, a sexual partnership. About what feels [00:10:00] fulfilling within that relationship.
And so it really takes a lot of work to identify your own needs, communicate those with your partner, and then come up with a strategy, if you will, to, you know, keep yourself primarily and your partner in mind as you’re working on those goals.
JJ Virgin: So in terms of, like, sexual health, though, like, I have some girlfriends who literally have not had sex for years.
Can you be healthy and not have sex? Like, is sexual health an important part of overall health?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Yeah, my position is that it absolutely is. I know that you don’t have to have a partner to be sexually active either. And so I think that there’s more ways to think about it than the ways that maybe have been, you know, in the more sort of traditional partnered, monogamous sex mindset.
And so I think when we start to open our brains and expand our definition of sex, Especially as we and our partner start to encounter issues with sexual function. So, for example, if our partner has erectile dysfunction, many times that gets so buried in the quagmire of [00:11:00] emotion that couples just stop having sex completely because either the male partner’s not responding to medication or they don’t want to get treatment.
They become embarrassed, then the female partner starts to experience dysfunction and reaction to the male partners, and that can lead to a complete breakdown in sexual expression, enjoyment. And so the, the idea is really that whatever your situation is, whether you’re in a partnered relationship or you’re solo, That you’re finding ways to tap into this part of all of us that is innate to our humanness, and that you’re finding ways to express that in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment.
But the other thing that we don’t want to do is put guilt or shame on people about their sexuality or lack thereof. And so really the way that we approach it from a sex medicine perspective is, if it’s a problem for you, then I’m here to help you with it. But if someone’s just bopping along in life, then And there’s no issues with their sexuality or their sexual [00:12:00] function or how often they’re having sex, then we’re going to let them live their best lives and we’re not going to try to intervene where intervention is not asked for and potentially even warranted, if that makes sense.
JJ Virgin: So, what are some of the most common things that you’re hearing in terms of sexual complaints, issues, dysfunction?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Yeah, the number one across the board, in fact, in all age categories for women, is lack of sexual desire. What I was describing earlier, that they want to want to have more sex. That’s really common.
38 percent of women describe lack of sexual desire. The second most common complaint is diminished or absent arousal. So what we talked about next, which is that the body’s just not responding, that’s about a quarter of women. About a fifth of women describe some trouble with orgasm. And then pain is a little bit harder to qualify.
70 percent of women experience sexual pain at some point in their lives or another. And about 20 percent of women identify with chronic sexual pain. Meaning most times that [00:13:00] they have penetrative sex, penis and vagina sex, they experience pain. That can also be due to a handful of reasons, including pelvic floor problems, lack of lubrication, and other issues that are deeper in the pelvis, like endometriosis, fibroids, things like that.
JJ Virgin: So is there something, like, this is the Well Beyond 40 podcast, so starting 40 is there an age where these things tend to show up more or certain issues tend to show up more?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Yeah, I would say, you know, with perimenopause, menopause, oftentimes we will have a big spike in lack of desire, and we’ll also have a correlational issue with arousal and orgasm.
And this is for many reasons. First and foremost is hormonal. Our bodies, you know, are making a certain amount of hormones our whole entire lives, including estrogen and testosterone. And when those start to decline, the sexual response within our brains and within our genitals starts to decline as well.
Those are huge issues. And then, as I mentioned earlier, [00:14:00] the lubrication piece usually starts to come into play after menopause, maybe five to 10 years after that decline of estrogen. That can lead to less pleasurable sex and even painful sex as well. So the two most common complaints are desire and lubrication leading to painful sex.
Okay. So
JJ Virgin: now here’s the important part. And when I saw that you’d done this, first of all, you really need to be celebrated for what you’ve created. This Rosy app, like this is a load of work. Before we get into it, how did this get to be? Cause this has to be your Northstar passion for the amount that you’re putting into this, like this is no small feat, what we’re about to talk about.
This app you’ve created and what you’re doing. You’re really bringing women’s sexual health to the forefront. Something we can talk about and find solutions for. But what you did even further than that, like. is you’ve made this so cool because it’s so inclusive where sex can be such a weird thing because of [00:15:00] your upbringing or your religion or maybe you’ve had a mastectomy.
You created this like equalizer where everyone feels safe, comfortable, included, like, holy smokes.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Well, I’m going to cry now. Thank you for that compliment. This is my life’s work. The mission of the company is to erase sexual shame and isolation for women. And that means all women for us. That is a hard thing to do, to be completely honest.
And it started from my patients. My patients needed help. I didn’t know how to help them, so I went and got a bunch more training and became a sexual medicine specialist. And then really, instead of opening a clinic in Dallas, which still sounds like a lot of fun, I decided we wanted to try to do something at scale.
Try to be part of a movement, a mission to really change the narrative, both within society and within medicine. That is our job as OBGYNs and as a world to support women when it comes to their sexual health. And when we don’t do that, we all suffer. We suffer as women, we suffer as partners, we suffer as [00:16:00] families, we suffer as a planet.
And so, whenever we talk about sexual health in a really evidence based and matter of fact, science driven way, it has the ability to erase that shame, that grime that lays on top, that’s kind of put upon us. When it comes to our sexuality and our sexual health, and when we’re able to speak about it in these really sort of respectful terms and also model for others how to do the same, it not only allows for open communication between partners, but also between women and our healthcare providers as well.
And on the other side of this, there is the app, which is meant to be, you know, for everyone, including women in the U. S. and Canada. But then on the other side, I do a lot of training of physicians to just say the title of my grand round, which is a lecture for hospital system OBGYNs is women’s sexual health.
It’s not that complicated because as physicians, we feel like, Oh my gosh, I couldn’t possibly open Pandora’s box. I’m not a [00:17:00] therapist. I don’t have time. But the fact of the matter is. We are trained how to talk to men about their sexual function. We’re trained to talk to our patients about depression and anxiety.
There’s so many overlaps of things we already know how to do. We just haven’t kicked the door in on this one, and that is really what I want to do, what drives me every single day. Is really, you know, breaking down those walls, those barriers to bring women’s sexual health to the women’s health conversation, to provide women with the empowerment and the language and the tools and the strategies we need to get where we want to go and to help physicians by training them to have these conversations and those next steps.
So yeah, I left practice about four and a half years ago. I work on Rosy full time. We really try to meet women exactly where they are. And I know as a woman in the South that there are many overlays of what that means, right? There’s religion, there’s culture, there’s laws. There’s so many different parts of that puzzle.
And we try to really curate each [00:18:00] person’s experience on the platform. To reflect that. So we have specific content for Muslim women, for conservative Christian women, for Orthodox Jewish women, really understanding that the cultural context in which we grow up affects our sexuality forever and vice versa.
And so does our medical history. And so does our partnership status. And so does our caretaker status, right? And so we know that every part of who we are affects our sexuality and our sexuality affects every part of who we are. We really love using digital health to address women in really unique and holistic ways that we aren’t able to do, unfortunately, in the office, but we work in concert with physicians.
And therapists in the office to try to create that whole patient experience. It’s so amazing.
JJ Virgin: It’s like, it’s so awesome. You should be so proud of yourself. So thank you. I love it. I really, I know we don’t take our wins very often, but you know, if I could give you a virtual trophy right now, and I’m sure there’s thousands and thousands of women that feel that way.[00:19:00]
So let’s like walk through it. A typical woman who’s maybe 55, who just loves her husband, looks at him. He’s just amazing and just wishes. That she really wanted to have sex with him, but she doesn’t. How would she go into this? How would she get help?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Absolutely. So we can talk about the platform and then I’ll talk about what I know the platform is going to recommend for her.
She could download Rosy. Rosy’s available in all the app stores. It’s free to download. There are subscription tiers, but we want you to explore. We want you to understand that. We’re an inclusive place, to your earlier point, that we’re evidence based. We were created by doctors, psychologists, pelvic floor physical therapists, very multidisciplinary.
So we want everybody to have the chance to explore that. And then she answers an onboarding questionnaire that’s between 25 and 36 questions. It’s dynamic depending on her answers, where we will build a program based on her problems, her current situation, both from a medical, cultural, partnership status.[00:20:00]
And then her goals, and then she will get daily personalized programs to answer those needs, plus access to a library of erotica, which I’ll go into in just a second, plus access to group coaching and workshops, so all the things that you want to know the answers to, but you’re not sure where to go to find them.
And then also, we have personal coaching one on one on the platform as well. So, this particular case, which is a super common one that you shared with me, 55 year old, no sexual desire, but not a relationship issue, more of just a, I can’t find the desire to go. One thing we love to talk about on the platform and that is so important from a therapeutic perspective is something called responsive desire.
So when we’re young, we have lots of hormones coursing through the body at all times. We don’t have as many responsibilities. We’re not quite as tired. Many women and many people have something that’s called spontaneous desire. So you might feel like having sex just sort of out of the blue more often, initiating more often.
But then as we age, hormones decline, [00:21:00] fatigue and stress and responsibility increase. Then we start to have what’s called responsive desire, meaning if we come into contact with a sexual cue, like erotica, Then, our brain starts to work and think, Oh, man, this is interesting. Our, we feel aroused in the genitals.
And then, in response to those things, we have desire to be intimate with our partner. This is a well known and established therapeutic way to kind of go about things. So, for example, if that person who you’re referring to wants, her goal is to have sex with our partner, whatever, pick a number. I don’t like to say numbers, because then people tether to those.
But say it’s once a week or twice a week. Then she knows, hey, on Saturday night, I’m going to start a bath at 7, and I’m going to get in the bath, and I’m going to read a Rosy Erotica story, and then it’s going to be time to enjoy myself and my partner, because I will have kick started my responsive desire pathway.
It’s a little bit like people who are out of the loop of going to the gym. They can’t remember why they ever [00:22:00] liked working out in the first place, but then they get there and they’re like, Oh my God, I feel so good. This is so great for me. Why don’t I do this more often? Responsive desire is exactly like that.
So once you can kind of get the pathway started, just like getting on the Peloton or getting on the whatever, elliptical. If you can start something that kicks the cascade, then that can lead to more desire and arousal. That is non pharmaceutical, that has no side effects, I mean, extremely, relatively inexpensive.
That is definitely one therapeutic pathway to help that person get the desire that she wants. There’s a further subset of women that no matter what they read or see or what vacation, fabulous vacation, they’re on with their sexy partner, they’re not going to feel desirous or aroused. Now that subset of women probably needs a pharmaceutical, and that’s okay as well, and we have guidance for that on the platform too.
JJ Virgin: Nice. And so once they’re doing this, it actually will get them working. Like they won’t have to be tethered to that [00:23:00] forever. It will get them going again,
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: likely. It’s a strategy. Yeah, it’s a strategy. And once we develop that positive association with pleasure and sex. And we understand that scheduling sex isn’t bad, that reading erotica is a prescription.
We can start to utilize these tools more often and with less sort of judgment on ourselves and be successful at obtaining the goals that we’re working towards.
JJ Virgin: Okay, so let’s go to case study number two, someone who has the desire, but they have the arousal issue.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: There’s a few more things actually that go into arousal than desire.
Those are more likely to be hormonal related to menopause and the lack of testosterone and estrogen in the vulva. And then they can also have other medical causes. For example, anything that you think of in your brain that might cause. Erectile dysfunction, and I hate to harken it back to men’s sexual dysfunction, but we just have a better understanding as a general population for men’s sexual dysfunction.
So, any peripheral vascular disease [00:24:00] like high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes, any of those things can lead to vascular occlusion. So, it’s blocking the blood flow to the genitals. And that can disrupt arousal because even though your brain is telling your genitals, all right, this sounds fun, let’s go, the blood flow just isn’t able to get through there to engorge.
So we understand that in men, the same exact thing happens in women. And then the third thing that happens, you know, semi frequently is a nerve interruption. So if you have had a lower back injury, a slipped disc, You’ve had a horseback injury or a cycling injury. So if there’s a interruption in the nerve pathway, anywhere from where it starts in the brain, all the way to the genitals.
So that runs down your neck, your spine, through your pelvic floor, to the genitals, then that can also cause decreased arousal as well. So it’s really hormones, blood flow, and nerve function. Those are the three things from a medical perspective that we look at in that case. There’s
JJ Virgin: one more that I’m wondering how you deal with this [00:25:00] one.
Because you brought up upbringing, culture, religion. What
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: about trauma? Yeah, trauma is actually very common. Unfortunately, on the platform we have, we serve a lot of women who have experienced sexual trauma and it’s a lot more common than the data reports as well, just because there’s number one, how do you define sexual trauma?
We really leave that up to, to the users on the platform to define it themselves. But. That can be a lot to untangle because you’re combining this level of sort of personal risk and trauma with this other idea of pleasure. And those two things start in the same place in the brain and can require work to untangle.
And so we have an entire program on the platform for sexual trauma survivors where we define trauma. We talk about the different options. Hey, if you are not ready to work on trauma, here’s how to know when you might be, maybe when to re approach it. Because not everyone’s ready at the same time. If you are ready to work on it, here are some [00:26:00] strategies that you can do at home.
If those aren’t succeeding for you, then here are some connections to experts who can help you work through this in concert. And here are the different modalities of therapy they might use. And then here’s what to expect after you’ve, you know, quote unquote healed from trauma, still you might feel triggered sometimes, still you might experience, you know, re traumatization, but here are the long term strategies to help you work through that while still having a positive overall relationship with sex and sexuality.
That’s one of those things that’s really common, that can be quite complicated, but that there absolutely are resources for, and millions and millions of women work through that successfully in concert with experts and evidence based guidance on these topics. So if that speaks to anyone who’s listening, definitely know that you’re not alone and that there is a lot of hope for the future of your relationship with sex.
JJ Virgin: So now that you have this platform, and I’m super excited. So if you’re listening, you’re going to get a silver [00:27:00] membership for a month free. So this is an easy thing to get started with. What are you hearing from people who are going through this? Like what kind of success stories, impact, et cetera, are you hearing?
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Yeah. So we have, you know, lots of different ways of gathering that. My favorite ways are just when people email us or write us a review in the app store. So if anybody wants to do that ever, we always love reading those and we share them with the whole team, but 66.
And she had been diagnosed with breast cancer 30 years prior to when she found Rosy, and she had been suffering for 30 years with no desire, with painful sex, and had shared with us that she had never, no one had ever talked to her about sexual health, even though she’d had her breasts removed, even though she’d had medical menopause because of medicines that she’d been taking.
When men go to the urologist and they have prostate cancer, the very first conversation they have is how they’re going to [00:28:00] maintain their erections despite surgery. When women have breast or gynecologic cancer, no one has one conversation with them about their sexual health. I mean it is, it blows your mind.
And so the fact that now breast cancer and other gynecologic cancer patients can have access to resources created by a survivorship oncologist, a clinical nurse psychologist, a pelvic floor physical therapist, like It’s not just some woo woo, you know, like, you can just make this step up. These are experts in the field sharing their passion and their knowledge for women in these situations who are suffering on a daily basis for decades.
Stuff like that. I mean, I’m like this, the fact that she suffered for 30 years with no health breaks my heart, but the fact that we made a difference in her life, like, which I feel will be so meaningful and long lasting is, is amazing. There’s a woman on our platform who’s 83 years old and who is sharing with us that she’s rediscovering her sexuality for the first time in decades.
It’s one after another where you’re [00:29:00] like, okay, we are definitely doing the right thing. We are so passionate about this and, and we’re, you know, working so hard every day to make this more accessible for women everywhere. We’ve also been able to share data that women who use our platform statistically significantly improve desire, arousal, orgasm, and lubrication.
So we not only know it from the qualitative, the patient feedback side, but we also know it from the quantitative side, from the data. That we collect using standardized questionnaires that Rosy is able to show improvement for the women on our platform. And the more they use it, the more improvement they see.
So that’s even better. You’re
JJ Virgin: making the world a happier place.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Well, I mean, thank you. I just, I really don’t, this is my thing. I don’t ever want anyone to feel like they’re suffering alone. And that’s what was happening in my office is because we don’t ever talk about this stuff. Each patient, I was seeing patient after patient sharing with me very similar stories, but they thought they were the only one and I wanted to be like, Hey, that woman you just passed, like on your way in, she was, she just told me the same thing, but obviously I can’t say that, but that was my [00:30:00] experience.
And so just the knowledge that 43 percent of women have a sexual health concern is therapeutic in and of itself, but to have a place for everyone to go and connect and find resources. You know, it uplifts the conversation. It helps us to join hands and really remove that shame and isolation and take the next step.
JJ Virgin: Again, if I could give you a trophy virtually, we’re actually going to do this big impact word for MindShare next year. And it’s like, I was like, I’m nominating you. So all our top people in health, I’ve already wrote it down. I’m like, nominate Dr. Harper. But that’s really it. Like this is how these things change.
It takes one person who just goes, this is my North star. This is what I’m going after. Look at what you have released just to focus on this and make a dent. And I mean, there’s so many nuances to it, everything from bringing it to the forefront so people actually will be able to talk about it. I think about when I’ve talked about it, it’s usually sitting with a couple of girlfriends over wine.
Otherwise you, you never talk about it. And then having resources [00:31:00] that actually work and that you can evidence based and you’re quantified. I mean, it’s just beautiful all the way around. And what’s most beautiful is that everybody listening is going to be able to get on the platform and that you’ve really made this accessible to everybody.
So we are going to put that at so that you can jump in, download the app, get your first month of silver membership free, and go in there and what you said, play around, right. Start your profile, do your questionnaire.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: That’s exactly right. And we would love to have everyone, and it’s not just me doing this.
There are an army of women physicians, of investors, of supporters, just like you, who are helping us spread the word about this stuff. So if we didn’t have that support and that ecosystem, we would be dead in the water. So it’s such a great time to be doing this because there is such support. And we could not do it without people like you and your audience.
So thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
JJ Virgin: I’m getting it out there. And then I will hook you up with more of my friends too, because [00:32:00] we’ve got to get. I just feel the same way about hormone replacement therapy. It’s like, this should be the best time of your life, 40 plus, and we don’t need to suffer.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Absolutely. We don’t need to suffer. And women deserve to speak up for themselves. I think that’s such a thread throughout women’s health that we have been trained to have good manners and to not rock the boat and to leave well enough alone. And I’m, I just wrote a piece on this a little bit ago about.
We’re just peeing on ourselves, and it’s like, what the heck is going on? You know, we all deserve better. We deserve more options. We deserve more data. We deserve. More conversations and better access. And we, as women, it’s so beautiful to see, you know, us as a group speak up for our needs and that’s, I just am so inspired by that.
So thank you for that work that you’re doing for women.
JJ Virgin: It fits in perfectly with my next and final, I always say it’s my final book, but it’s forget, but it’s really not forget. Assume you know what it is. Aging gracefully, age powerfully. So this. [00:33:00] That’s why this is like, I love it in line. And again, for everybody listening, Jump in there, grab your free month, get started, play around. And I am just, again, super grateful for your work in the world. Thank you.
Dr. Lyndsey Harper: Likewise. Thanks for having me, JJ. I appreciate you.
JJ Virgin: Be sure to join me next time for more tools, tips, and techniques you can incorporate into everyday life to ensure you look and feel great.
And more importantly, that you’re built to last. And check me out on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and my website, And make sure to follow my podcast so you don’t miss a single episode at See you next time.
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